ABOUT ME

Helloooo.. Everybody out there in the world!
I am Eddy Rice JR<>
I am glad you have managed one way or another, to find my website.

Hopefully, if you have made it this far into my website, you know something about me.
If not, I will attempt to briefly describe myself.
I am a clown and ENTERTAINER EXTRODINAIRE.
Professionally I have doing this for over seventeen years. Unprofessionally, I have been making people laugh, all my life.
Goofiness, & silliness, oozes out of every pore, & gland of my body.
Please don’t stand too close, if you are afraid of catching it, because it is contagious.

There are photos of me as a baby in a diaper, in front of the television set, dancing. People are all around the TV. I look as if I’m thinking “Hey people, why are you watching this garbage for. Watch me!”
As I grew up, I always wanted attention; whatever I could do to entertain people.
It started with puppet shows in my room. My sisters were my audience, & whatever neighborhood kids I could persuade, with my clever words, some candy, or duct tape. Ha ha, only kidding about the candy .I would never promote tooth decay for the sake of laughter!
When I got in Junior High, my dad bought me a magic set .I loved it. I practiced & practiced. No matter how hard I practiced, I screwed up the tricks! Everyone laughed, & I was frustrated. Yet, I still loved the attention. Then I discovered laughter is pretty exciting. If I can make people laugh at will, I WILL CONTROL THE WORLD!
My home town, Brownwood, Texas, (You might know it as The Entertainment Capital of the World.), is located in the “dead” center of Texas.
Dead is right because there wasn’t much to do there. In fact; it was nicknamed by most residences , as Deadwood.
The teenagers for excitement on the weekend, use to actually drive around in circles on a four block area, known as the the drag, & honk at each other. THAT WAS IT BABY!
We also had a movie theatre, & a bowling alley.
I had no real place to express my creative energies.
Then one day something happened, it was like a magic moment in my life. I was especially chosen to M. C., the local beauty pageant, (I was the 43^rd caller to the radio station).
It wasnt a big huge pageant like, Miss California , or Miss Universe, or Miss World.
We had Miss Okeedokee . The winner of that went on to compete for the title of Miss Make You Wanna Barf in a Bucket.
In the finals; she could win the top honor, Miss Pig Grunt & Squeal of My Dreams. The winner of that got a genuine 14 karat gold plated plastic, pig statue, 12 pounds of ham, & got to grunt on the White House lawn .Of course no one would be there when she grunted, & she would have to pay for her own airfare!
The thrill of being on that stage was something I could not forget.
My Aunt Solindas had loved watching me entertain, since I was little .She lived in Escondido, California.
She always told me when you graduate High School, you can come out & live with me, & perform stand up comedy.

Friends and relatives were forever telling me, “Eddy you are funny, you ought to go out there to Hollywood and get on the Johnny Carson show. Youll get discovered, & be a star after that.”
Yeah, like it is just that easy! They had no clue on reality!
I had no choice but to go, the dream had been implanted in my head. It was sort of a baby brain washing.
Actually, I loved the idea, of doing comedy on The Johnny Carson Show. WOW!
What could that possibly be like; making people laugh all over the world; being on television?

I worked at a summer camp, & saved every pay check, for my journey to Hollywood.
We would have anywhere from 500 people, to a few thousand at the camp.
We were up early morning to get set up, to clean their dirty dishes after they ate breakfast. Then we went on a trash run. Then it was lunch, helping run paddle boats, & finally dinner .That was it for the day, barring no maintenance emergencies, like flooding toilets, or backed up sewage! YUK!
That is how it went for five days a week .The last day the campers left, & then we got to clean their cabins.
These were sixteen hour days, which would mean we earned about $.63 cents an hour, & that was 26 years ago.
It was all good, because we were working for the Lord.
****AUTHORS NOTE******* Later the preacher who ran the camp was busted for taking little old ladies donations that were mean’t for fixing up the cabins ,& buying cars ,& whatever else he wanted. Did they arrest him, or even report him; no, it would be too embarrassing for the church. They dismissed him quietly, & let him go on his way, to do the same thing all over again to some other unsuspecting small town. On further investigation, the church he had come from, fired him for the same reason.************
Well needless to say, that money did not help me buy a car to travel to Los Angeles in.

I was desperate to seek my fortune, & fame. There were not many other job opportunities in Brownwood.
I decided to ride my pet cow Barney to Hollywood. I had raised him since he was a baby. His mom had died. I bottle fed him, until he could take care of himself.
Barney mean’t a lot to me. I could never leave him behind anyway.
He was economical too; he got good grass mileage.Ha Ha, you see he just ate the grass along side the road.
That was my first joke too,grass mileage, still as funny today, as it was then (not very).
Barney, & I made it to Los Angeles, after a very long, grueling, & painful journey.
I could not find any apartments in my price range, that allowed pets; especially a full grown cow.
I was filled with despair & a burning hunger in my belly.
I invited some friends over & barbequed Barney.
After that last bite of Barney, I felt even closer to him than ever before. It was as if we were “at one” with each other.
Well, that gives you the basic idea of how, I got involved in showbiz.
I’ll include more later, if you are interested.
If there are any publishers out there, I do have a full paged manuscript of my unusual journey. It includes wild recollections of meeting psychos, weirdos, shifty agents, bizarre girlfriends, & other trippy weirdness! It is called Eddy Rice Jr. & Jack Tuellas First Book *(with excerpts from J. R. Spatulas First Book).
There is also Eddy Rice Jr. s Mixed Up And Going Sideways Upside Down Book.
This book contains short observations, twisted dementia, thoughtful poetry, insane delirium, & other brilliant ideas.
I cannot forget Suku Bukus Joyful Flu Flu. *A childrens book for adults.*
Suku Buku is a nice man; I met late one night in my sleep. He was from a small country that began with a P ...& had an iauauuuu sound at the end.
He sent me many thoughts and ideas telepathically.
Now, I did not really believe in that stuff. I mean my close friend claims to be a psychic, still I never thought it was real. I guess it is something you have to experience for yourself.
Sukus transmissions to me, reflect real life. They were not always cheery, & jolly.
More often they were sick, twisted, insightful, & dark! Sometimes they were even nonsensical.
I think the reason for this is, like dreaming, sometimes it just doesn’t make any sense.
Maybe some of his brainwaves were preoccupied with other thoughts. Maybe he was daydreaming.
Perhaps when he was sending them to me, I was microwaving a burrito. For whatever reason, signals were crossed, & some thoughts were confused, mixed, & distorted.
The trouble is, I don’t know what thoughts were crossed & confused. In his psychic transmissions, he never gave me his email address, or cell phone number so that I could verify anything.
Maybe that is the way he intended them to be. It could all be some mystery, or deep secret meaning.
Everyone sees things in different ways, & makes their own meaning, according to how it fits their lives.
So, in this book, I included every thought he sent me no matter how remote, insignificant, sick or crazy.
I have 1,000s of pages of stories, & poems. I will be including some of those on this website. Aren’t you lucky .HEE HEE Ha HEE.
Flappy T. Clown has his own silly adventures as well.
THANKS EVERYBODY, & ENJOY THE REST OF THIS STUFF.

Eddy Rice Jr.